Hi. My name is Self-Entitled.

A lady comes up and asks if I have any blank paper she can use.

I show her the scratch paper.

No, that's not big enough.

So I give her some sheets from our recycling box.  These are whole sheets with prints on one side that people just leave behind.  We save them and cut them up for scratch paper.

No, she wants brand new, blank computer paper.  Why?  So she can make copies.  I pointed out that she can make copies with the kind from the recycling box.

Not kidding.  She walked off without speaking to me.

This lady is also a bat-shit crazy conspiracy theorist.  But more about that later.

Rick Steves Goes Religious

Girl: I need a book by Rick Stevens.

Me: Which one?

Girl: I don't know the title... it's something about driving.

Me: (At this point I assume she wants a travel book by Rick Steves.  I think that's a reasonable assumption. So... I search for a few seconds but don't come up with anything.  So I ask for the title again.)

Girl: Driving Life by Rick Stevens.

Me: Do you know what's about?

Girl: Um... life?

It dawns on me.... Drum roll, please....

She wants The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren.